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David Bowie is a cosmic prince. Sent from another planet to teach the world about style and panache, he is far more than the sum of his songs, he has become a cultural icon; a paragon of going your own way. He’s a spokesperson for the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Long-haired Men. He moonwalked before Michael Jackson. And was even a sexual inspiration to movie maven Scarlett Johansson. Hell, he released his new single on his own damn birthday.

Bowie’s story is packed with both legends and facts, and while we all could probably learn a thing or two from his life, the most important thing he has to teach us is just not to give a fuck. “Do whatever you want,” say his creepy-yet-serene eyes when we gaze into them on the television. He urges us: “Be you. Be free. Wear a damn catsuit on stage, you ninny.”

Need proof? Oh, we’ve got proof.

Eye patch, check. Red male cameltoe pants, check. Flippant disregard for gender binary, check. David Bowie dressed as Jane Lynch circa 2052 SO MANY FUCKS WERE NOT GIVEN. Also, who can dance the creepiest? You’d be surprised at how many sleepovers I’ve been able to sneak into with this getup. Candid shot from Bowie’s annual 4th of July snuff film marathon. I am dressed in approximately 80% women’s clothing but these cufflinks cost more than your car, you silly little shit. I’m a motherfucking elf. #IDGAF In the distant future, everyone looks like Anne Heche. Come filthy human, let me take you in my arms and we will leave this wretched world together David Bowie in 1969, definitely high on something, not giving two shits that this picture makes no sense.
David Bowie Labyrinth

Bring it motherfucker. I will so go “Magic Dance” on your ass.

I am David Bowie. More makeup than a stripper with vitiligo. SAY SOMETHING. New Year’s Resolution? To stop giving a fuck. 4ever. Listen here, you sick fuck. I know all about the strange, semi-sexual thoughts you’ve had about me over the years. It’s time to knock that shit off. It was just a phase.


SO Note: Have any photos of David Bowie not giving a fuck? Let us know @Serial_Optimist!