Brendon Walsh Is Covered In Vomit
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Brendon Walsh Is Covered In Vomit

Remember what happened when the Gremlins ate after midnight? Well, apparently that’s what happens when you interview Brendon Walsh. Sheer madness. Pure intoxication.  You just have to love him and bear with the hilarious consequences. I’d like to believe Brendon was aboard Ken Kesey’s school bus with the “Merry Pranksters” and was accidentally dropped off in the lovely land of Philly. Brendon got his comedy chops in Austin, TX where he won “The Funniest Person in Austin” contest. From there he toured as opening act for Doug Stanhope for two years and started popping up all over the place. He has appeared on “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”, “Last Comic Standing”, “Premium Blend”, “The Bob & Tom Show” and “Conan”. Brendon is about to embark on the Summer Value Tour with Toddy Barry and Neil Hamburger. Plus, he has a very hush, hush project in the works with Comedy Central. Brendon, of course, is MOST notorious for his bevy of pranks. On the Comedy Bang! Bang! podcast (episode 60) he recanted the story of a crank call where he used a spoof card to call his good, good friend and try to convince said friend that he had raped his wife. Yes, you read that correctly. That is what I’d call pushing the limits of comedy TO THE MAX. Oh! That reminds me. He also does a Deathsquad podcast with Randy Liedtke and Davey Johnson called “The Bone Zone“. So hide those cookies, stash the Evian, and pull down the blinds. Consider Brendon the Mogwai unleashed!

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Photo by Mandee Johnson

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Serial Optimist: So how is your name really spelled? Brendon, Brandon, Berndon, Bornden, Brendejo or Brndeon? I think Brndeon is my favorite.

Brendon Walsh: Who cares, right? You can call me anything but “Late for Dinner” LOL, amiright? JK you can call me late for dinner if you want to. (I just took a handful of sleeping pills)

SO: LOL! Do you recall what age your penchant for pranks began? Do you remember your first victim? What is your dream prank?

Brendon: When I was born, I acted like a stillbirth just to freak everybody out. My mom wigged! Then when I was five years old, I framed a dog for murder. I can’t tell you what my dream prank is, because then when I do the prank, everyone will know it was me. I’ll give you a hint though…it involves bees. (Feeling groggy from the pills, but also feeling pretty groovy)

SO: Uh oh. I’m allergic to bees. Growing up in Philadelphia, what was that like? At what point did you find comedy was going to be your forté?

Brendon: Growing up in Philadelphia was very transformative for me. I started out as a baby with no hair or teeth, then I got hair and teeth, then those teeth fell out and I got bigger teeth and pubes. When I was six years old I made everybody in my first grade class crack up by making a giant fart noise during story time. That’s when I knew. (Just opened a bottle of wine, spilled some on my shirt. Took shirt off)

SO: Sexy. How would you describe your experience touring with Doug Stanhope? Any memorable stories you can recant?

Brendon: We would do a lot of lifting at the gym and laying out in the sun. I was so ripped back then. Now I am fat and pale. Doug is the funniest comedian working today- you should interview him! (I just let my parrot out of its cage. Trying to get it to sit on my shoulder. Getting really faded from these pills)

SO: Stanhope, you heard it here. We want you, too. What is your pre-stage routine? While you’re in the green room, are just talking or messing around, listening to the other performers, have headphones in?

Brendon: If I’m working at a club, I scream at my reflection in the mirror to get pumped, and then I eat a two foot long party sub. If I’m performing at a rock venue, I touch every doorknob five times then put a baby carrot in my butt before the show. Before a theater show, I set my grandmom’s wig on fire then bite a puppy’s ear. (I just fell out of my chair. My parrot pooped on me then flew out the window)

SO: I hear baby carrots are good roughage. How does Brndeon like to party on the road?

Brendon: By reading “On The Road” by Jack Kerouac and listening to Bob Seger’s “Turn the Page”. (Sparking up a “J” now. Can’t control my arms!)

SO: In 2007 you won a $10k prize at the online competition FameCast that finds America’s best new talent. Did that win get you the national exposure you deserved?

Brendon: Yes! (Think I took too many pills. Calling 911)

SO: I think I just dribbled on myself. What do you find are the differences between LA and Austin audiences?

Brendon: Leukemia rates are 10% higher in Austin, so the shows there are more somber as a result. (Paramedics are on their way- this interview is hard. Passing out)

SO: I can hear the sirens. If you had to pitch your podcast “The Bone Zone” to a total newbie what would you tell he/she/it?

Brendon: I would tell it that “The Bone Zone” is like listening to three ten year olds doing a made up radio show. It’s the best comedy podcast out there at the moment! We just won 7 Bonies at our first annual award show we invented. (Paramedics are here. Can’t move. They’re breaking down the door)

SO: Eeeek! Can you give us any details on the project you are working on for Comedy Central?

Brendon: Nah (Getting mouth-to-mouth by a dude right now)

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Brendon Walsh: Birthday Cake

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SO: You are about to embark on a stellar tour with Todd Barry and Neil Hamburger: The Summer Value Tour. How did this amazing threesome come about?

Brendon: My uncle is their dry-cleaner and promised them a year’s worth of free dry-cleaning if they took me on tour with them. COME SEE US!

SO: Oh, lovely nepotism. You are a twitter fiend. What do you find the most fun about using twitter as a comedic form of expression? What was the last great tweet you read and by who?

Brendon: My assistant Loretta does all my Tweeting for me. I’ll let her know that you think she’s a fiend! The best tweet ever was tweeted by @JoshMalina: “This has got to be truly the worst person on FB.”

I have to say I agree with him. That person sucks.

SO: Werd. What’s the most awkward interview you ever had?

Brendon: My dad interviewed me for a job at his hoagie shop when I was 14. He was completely nude and fully aroused. AWWWWKWAAAARRRRDDDDD (Getting in the ambulance now.)

SO: Ewwwwww. Tell us what’s on the horizon for Brendejo.

Brendon: Spending more time with my 10-year-old son Trevor. Maintaining a good relationship with my ex-wife, Trish. Family is very important to me at this point in my life. (Getting my stomach pumped at the hospital now)

SO: Awwwww. Thanks Brendon!

Brendon: THANKS TO YOU, YOU SONOFABITCH! (The doctors finished pumping my stomach and they found a quart of semen in there. Don’t tell anyone)

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SO Note: Follow Brendon @brendonwalsh and check out his site here.

Deborah Thomasian

Deborah Thomasian

Contributor at Serial Optimist
I will categorize myself as nerdette extraordinaire. I'm a self-diagnosed comedy junkie. Moonlight as a writer on various subjects. Make me laugh please.
Deborah Thomasian
Deborah Thomasian

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